Alone
by blazingapple
Summary: How am I supposed to tell her that I'm afraid to sleep at night because I keep reliving their deaths? How am I supposed to explain how it feels to wake up, expecting to see your wife staring back at you, but instead seeing a smiley face drawn in her blood


**Author's Note:** Hey guys this is story I've thought about for a while now. I'm thinking of making it into a multi-chap. Please send me your opinions to whether I should continue or just leave it as a one-shot. It might be while between updates as I have a lot going on in my life at the moment, but I hope that you'll stick with me.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, nothing has changed. Still don't own it, I can only dream.

ALONE

I open my eyes to be met with the blinding golden rays of the sun. I allow my eyelids to flutter shut for a few extra minutes and let the warmth soak through my body. It flows through my veins and begins to lighten the load which is permanently dumped on my weary shoulders. I can feel it spread to my arms and legs and feel like I could stay here for the rest of my life. I surrender myself to the soft sand which surrounds my aching body. It soothes my muscles in a way I didn't know was possible. Suddenly I feel a soft tug at my hair, which breaks me out of my light slumber. The light, warm breaths against my cheek are a reminder that I am not alone, and I will never be alone again. The breaths speed up as she prepares to speak.

"Daddy"

Her honey-sweet voice coerces me to open my eyes once more. Her long, curly mop of hair fills my vision as she takes me into the tightest hug she can manage. I am not alone, and I will always have this amazing girl beside me; Or in this case, around me. She releases me and jumps up, ready for action.

"Daddy c'mon let's go!"

I silently wonder where she wants us to go but regardless, I slowly began to move. She gives me a solemn stare with her wide chestnut-brown eyes and turns while starting to run away. Not wanting to get too far behind her, I jump to my feet and begin my pursuit after her. Her high-pitched squeals of joy fill the air and make it impossible for me to wipe the smile off my face. Suddenly she gets faster and she's no longer laughing.

"Charlotte! Honey, slow down!"

I'm nearly sprinting by the time I catch up to her. I bend down so I am at her height, and gently tap her on the shoulder. As she slowly turns around I notice her hair is no longer shiny, but covered with dark crimson stains. As she faces me, I can hardly recognise her. Her skin is sickly pale with a ghostly grey tinge to it. Her eyes are bloodshot and have lost their ever-present sparkle. As much as she didn't look like herself, she looked vaguely familiar in this distressed state. She was no longer wearing her favourite light-blue bathers, but instead her pale pink nightgown. Her usual rosy cheeks were being stained by the small channels of tears which were continuously falling.

"Why weren't you there?"

She speaks with such betrayal which confuses me even more. What is she talking about? I've always been beside her.

"Daddy!"

Her sobs have gotten louder and the look in her eyes is unforgiving.

"Why didn't you save us?"

In a flash she turned around and started running away again.

"Charlotte?"

I can feel my voice straining as I start to run after her once more, but this time she is even faster. Her figure is getting smaller and smaller as she flies along the sand.

"CHARLOTTE!"

I'm yelling with every ounce of strength left in my body. By this stage she is only a speck in the distance. I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks and I can't stop shaking. Tentative hands grab hold of my shoulders and start to shake me.

"Jane!"

Who would be calling me that? Everybody always calls me Patrick or 'Mr Jane'. The winds are picking up and everything is starting to get blurry. The sun is beginning to get unbearable as the light is flooding all of my senses. The shaking gets more violent and then suddenly everything is gone. All I can see is black.

"Jane….Patrick, open your eyes!"

The voice was familiar yet foreign at the same time. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself staring straight into the worried eyes of Teresa Lisbon.

"Oh thank god Jane! You scared me for a while there. Are you alright?"

I sat up and studied my surroundings. I was no longer on the beach; I was in Lisbon's office. Clearly I had fallen asleep on her couch again. I could feel that my cheeks were damp which meant I really had been crying. It had all felt so real, but I guess all my nightmares usually do. She was still staring at me as though she was expecting an explanation. I stood abruptly and walked towards the door.

"Jane, seriously are you ok?"

I exhaled deeply. No

"Yes. I'm fine, just a little tired that's all."

I stared down at my feet. I wasn't buying into my own lie, so why would she? I turn around and meet her eyes. It is very obvious that she didn't believe any of the crap I was spitting out.

"Patrick, You were yelling. What's going on?"

I felt my mouth go dry. How am I supposed to tell her that I'm afraid to sleep at night because I keep reliving their deaths? How am I supposed to explain how it feels to wake up, expecting to see your wife staring back at you, but instead seeing a smiley face drawn in her blood laughing at you.

"Look, I just had a bad dream alright?"

She looked at me sceptically and knew that it was so much more than that.

"Sure, ok. Well we have a case so…you know."

As I turn around to leave again she grabs my arm.

"I want you to take it easy."

I stare at her for a second and slowly nod my head. This time I leave her office successfully. I have to put my shield up again and be invincible once more. I have to do my job. I have to live my life. Alone.

**Author's Note 2: **I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, thoughts, ideas, opinions pretty much anything. Do you know any good jokes?


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